The Master
Who Gave Strange Names
to Things in His House
folktales of Aarne-Thompson-Uther type 1562A
edited by
D. L. Ashliman
© 2002-2010
folktales of Aarne-Thompson-Uther type 1562A
edited by
D. L. Ashliman
© 2002-2010
A shoemaker once engaged an apprentice. A short time after the apprenticeship began the shoemaker asked the boy what he would call him in addressing him.
"Oh, I would just call you master," answered the apprentice.
"No," said the master, "you must call me master above all masters."
Continued the shoemaker, "What would you call my trousers?"
Apprentice: "Oh, I would call them trousers."
Shoemaker: "No, you must call them struntifers. And what would you call my wife?"
Apprentice: "Oh, I would call her mistress."
Shoemaker: "No, you must call her the Fair Lady Permoumadam. And what would you call my son?"
Apprentice: "Oh, I would call him Johnny."
Shoemaker: "No, you must call him John the Great. And what would you call the cat?"
Apprentice: "Oh, I would call him pussy."
Shoemaker: "No, you must call him Great Carle Gropus. And what would you call the fire?"
Apprentice: "Oh, I would call it fire."
Shoemaker: "No, you must call it Fire Evangelist. And what would you call the peat stack?"
Apprentice: "Oh, I would just call it peat stack."
Shoemaker: "No, you must call it Mount Potago. And what would you call the well?"
Apprentice: "Oh, I would call it well."
Shoemaker: "No, you must call it the Fair Fountain. And, last of all, what would you call the house?"
Apprentice: "Oh, I would call it house."
Shoemaker: "No, you must call it the Castle of Mungo."
The shoemaker, after giving this lesson to his apprentice, told him that the first day he had occasion to use all these words at once, and was able to do so without making a mistake, the apprenticeship would be at an end.
The apprentice was not long in making an occasion for using the words. One morning he got out of bed before his master and lighted the fire. He then tied some bits of paper to the tail of the cat and threw the animal into the fire. The cat ran out with the papers all in a blaze, landed in the peat stack, which caught fire.
The apprentice hurried to his master and cried out, "Master above all masters, start up and jump into your struntifers, and call upon Sir John the Great and the Fair Lady Permoumadam, for Carle Gropus has caught hold of Fire Evangelist, and he is out to Mount Potago, and if you don't get help from the Fair Fountain, the whole of Castle Mungo will be burned to the ground."
A girl once went to the fair to hire herself for servant. At last a funny-looking old gentleman engaged her and took her home to his house. When she got there he told her that he had something to teach her, for that in his house he had his own names for things.
He said to her, "What will you call me?"
"Master or mister, or whatever you please, sir," says she.
He said, "You must call me master of all masters. And what would you call this?" pointing to his bed.
"Bed or couch, or whatever you please, sir."
"No, that's my barnacle. And what do you call these?" said he, pointing to his pantaloons.
"Breeches or trousers, or whatever you please, sir."
"You must call them squibs and crackers. And what would you call her?" pointing to the cat.
"Cat or kit, or whatever you please, sir."
"You must call her white-faced simminy. And this now," showing the fire, "what would you call this?"
"Fire or flame, or whatever you please, sir."
"You must call it hot cockalorum, and what this?" he went on, pointing to the water.
"Water or wet, or whatever you please, sir."
"No, pondalorum is its name. And what do you call all this?" asked he as he pointed to the house.
"House or cottage, or whatever you please, sir."
"You must call it high topper mountain."
That very night the servant woke her master up in a fright and said, "Master of all masters, get out of your barnacle and put on your squibs and crackers. For white-faced simminy has got a spark of hot cockalorum on its tail, and unless you get some pondalorum, high topper mountain will be all on hot cockalorum."
That's all.
The two visitors outside overheard this strange talk and began to wonder what it meant. They did not like the talk about axes and digging channels, it sounded as if their host meant to kill them as a sacrifice and bury their bodies in a river bed; rich men had been known to do such things. With this thought in their minds they got up and began to run away as fast as their legs could carry them. But when the young woman saw what they were doing she ran after them and called them back.
They reluctantly stopped to hear what she had to say; and when she came up they reproached her for not having warned them of the fate in store for them. But she only laughed at their folly and explained that what her father-in-law meant was that she should wash their feet and give them a seat in the cow house; and make ready two pots of rice beer and polish the big and little brass basins and make five or six leaf cups and he would bring back some liquor and they would all have a drink. At this explanation they had a hearty laugh and went back to the house.
Return to D. L. Ashliman's folktexts, a library of folktales, folklore, fairy tales, and mythology.
Revised June 30, 2010.