Wives Rule Over Their Husbands
Folktales of Aarne-Thompson-Uther Type 1375translated and/or edited by
D. L. Ashliman
© 2024
The man's a fool who thinks by force of skillIt would appear from the above passage from Borde that the wife who ruled her husband was then called the "white mare" -- in modern times she is termed the "gray mare," and the origin of the expression is thus accounted for:
To stem the torrent of a woman's will;
For if she will, she will, you may depend on't,
And if she won't, she won't, and there's an end on't.
A gentleman, who had "seen the world," one day gave his son a pair of horses, and a basket of eggs, saying, "Do you travel upon the high-road until you come to the first house in which there is a married couple. If you find that the husband is master there, give him one of the horses. If, on the other hand, the wife is ruler, give her an egg. Return at once if you part with a horse, but do not come back so long as you keep both horses, and there is an egg remaining in your basket."There is a similar Arabian story told of the Khalíf Harún er-Rashíd, who figures so often in the Arabian Nights: how he gave one of his favourite companions a great number of donkeys, one of which he was to present to each man whom he found not to be under "petticoat government" -- for it is a mistake to suppose that, although women of a certain class are bought and sold for the harams of Muslims, the actual wife may not sometimes rule her lord very despotically; but on this subject see Lane's Modern Egyptians.Off went the youth, full of his mission, and called at so many houses without finding the husband really master that all his eggs save one were gone, and riding onward he came to a house where he must make his final trial. He alighted and knocked at the door. The good wife opened it for him and curtsied.
"Is your husband at home?"
"No," but she would call him from the hay-field.
In he came, wiping his brows. The young man told them his errand.
"Why," said the good wife, simpering and twiddling a corner of her apron. "I always do as John wants me to do; he is my master -- aren't you, John?"
To which John replied, "Yes."
"Then," said the youth, "I am to give you a horse; which will you take?"
Quoth John, "I think we'll have the bay gelding."
"If we have a choice, husband," said the wife, "I think the gray mare will suit us better."
"No," replied John. "The bay for me; he is more square in the front, and has much better legs."
"Now," said the wife, "I don't think so; -- the gray mare is the better horse, and I shall never be contented unless I get that one."
"You must take an egg," cried the youth, giving her the only one he had left, and he then returned home, with both horses, to inform his father how he had sped in his mission.
The favourite returned without having disposed of a single ass, at which Harún made merry, declaring himself to be the only man in his dominions who was master of his haram, including even his chief wife, Zubaydé.
Their conversation happened to take place in a room where they might be overheard by that pious but exceedingly jealous lady, and the favourite saw his opportunity of turning the laugh against the Khalíf himself. So he began to describe in glowing terms the personal charms of a girl he pretended to have seen in the course of his journeyings, upon which Harún, in alarm lest Zubaydé should hear this account of the strange beauty, whispered: "Don't talk quite so loud."
This was what the companion expected, so he exclaimed in great glee: "O Commander of the Faithful, it is you who must take a donkey!"
A gentleman of a certain county in England having married a young lady of considerable fortune, and with many other charms, yet finding, in a very short time, that she was of a high domineering spirit, and always contending to be mistress of him and his family, he was resolved to part with her. Accordingly, he went to her father, and told him, he found his daughter of such a temper, and he was so heartily tired of her, that if he would take her home again, he would return every penny of her fortune.The old gentleman having inquired into the cause of his complaint, asked him, "why he should be more disquieted at it than any other married man, since it was the common case with them all, and consequently no more than he ought to have expected when he entered into the marriage state?"
The young gentleman desired to be excused, if he said he was so far from giving his assent to this assertion, that he thought himself more unhappy than any other man, as his wife had a spirit no way to be quelled; and as most certainly no man, who had a sense of right and wrong, could ever submit to be governed by his wife.
"Son (said the old man) you are but little acquainted with the world, if you do not know that all women govern their husbands, though not all, indeed, by the same method: however, to end all disputes between us, I will put what I have said on this proof, if you are willing to try it: I have five horses in my stable; you shall harness these to a cart, in which I shall put a basket containing one hundred eggs; and if, in passing through the county, and making a strict inquiry into the truth or falsehood of my assertion, and leaving a horse at the house of every man who is master of his family himself, and an egg only where the wife governs, you will find your eggs gone before your horses, I hope you will then think your own case not uncommon, but will be contented to go home, and look upon your own wife as no worse than her neighbours. If, on the other hand, your horses are gone first, I will take my daughter home again, and you shall keep her fortune."
This proposal was too advantageous to be rejected; our young married man, therefore, set out with great eagerness to get rid, as he thought, of his horses and his wife.
At the first house he came to, he heard a woman, with a shrill and angry voice, call to her husband to go to the door. Here he left an egg, you may be sure, without making any further enquiry; at the next he met with something of the same kind; and at every house, in short, until his eggs were almost gone, when he arrived at the seat of a gentleman of family and figure in the county: he knocked at the door, and enquiring for the master of the house, was told by a servant, that his master was not yet stirring, but, if he pleased to walk in, his lady was in the parlour.
The lady, with great complaisance, desired him to seat himself, and said, if his business was very urgent, she would wake her husband to let him know it, but had much rather not disturb him.
"Why, really, Madam (said he) my business is only to ask a question, which you can resolve as well as your husband, if you will be ingenuous with me: you will, doubtless, think it odd, and it may be deemed impolite for any one, much more a stranger, to ask such a question; but as a very considerable wager depends upon it, and it may be to some advantage to yourself to declare the truth to me; I hope these considerations will plead my excuse. It is, Madam, to desire to be informed, whether you govern your husband, or he rules over you?"
"Indeed, sir (replied the lady), this question is somewhat odd; but, as I think no one ought to be ashamed of doing their duty, I shall make no scruple to say, that I have been always proud to obey my husband in all things; but, if a woman's own word is to be suspected in such a case, let him answer for me; for here he comes."
The gentleman at that moment entering the room, and, after some apologies, being made acquainted with the business, confirmed every word his obedient wife had reported in her own favour; upon which he was invited to choose which horse in the team he liked best, and to accept of it as a present.
A black gelding struck the fancy of the gentleman most; but the lady desired he would choose the grey mare, which she thought would be very fit for her side-saddle; her husband gave substantial reasons why the black horse would be most useful to them; but Madam still persisted in her claim to the grey mare.
"What (said she), and will you not take her then? But I say you shall; for I am sure the grey mare is much the better horse."
"Well, my dear (replied the husband), if it must be so."
"You must take an egg (replied the gentleman carter), and I must take all my horses back again, and endeavour to live happy with my wife."
ZENO
To him he said: "But take the grease too and put it into your pocket so that you can treat the boots with it."
But the fellow was wearing a freshly washed white shirt, and he said: "No way! My wife would be angry with me if I got grease on my clean shirt."
With this the stranger took his boots back, hit the peasant on the head with them, and said: "Go to the gallows! You are afraid of your wife for nothing, and you wanted to deceive me."
Thus he continued on his way, and I don't think that he found any husband who deserved the boots.
A man carried a pair of brand new boots through the whole country, intending to give them to any man who was not afraid of his wife. For a long time he could find no such person to give them to. Finally he came to a bulky coarse peasant who claimed to deserve the boots."Well then," said the man, "take this grease as well, to treat the boots with. You can carry it under your shirt."
Now the peasant was wearing a white and freshly washed shirt, so he said: "No way! If I did that and got my shirt dirty, my wife would be angry with me."
When the stranger heard that, he took back the boots and hit the peasant on the head with them, saying: "Get lost, you scoundrel. Did you think that you could deceive me like that? You are afraid of your wife in such a small matter. Just what would you do with something more important?"
With that he went away with his boots, and -- believe me -- he has not found any husband who deserves to keep them.
Handing the boots to the peasant, the gentleman said: "Take this lard as well, so that you can grease your boots with it. Just put it under your shirt.
The peasant, who had put on a fresh and clean white shirt that morning, said: "I don't want to do that, because the lard would soil my shirt, and than my wife would yell at me!"
Hearing this, the gentleman took back the boots and gave the peasant a blow on the head with them, saying: "Go to to the devil, you villain. You are afraid of your wife for such a trivial matter, and you thought you could cheat me out of the boots.
Then the gentleman went on his way, and I do not believe that he has found any husband to give the boots to.
The next morning he wanted to be on his way. He thanked for the lodging and the good hospitality and told the husband to take his pick of two horses, a brown one and a black one.
"I'll take the brown one," said the husband.
"No, don't be a fool," cried the wife. "The black mare is a better horse."
"All right," said the husband. "Little woman, if you say so, I'll take the black one."
Then the stranger took an egg from his wagon, gave it to him, and drove off. And the husband and the wife could only gaze longingly after the horses, both the brown ones and the black ones.
He went a few miles further, and came to another farmhouse. As he went by a cock crowed again, and he thought the bird said, "Aye and everywhere!"
Then said the husband, "I will go back and live with my wife, for now I am certain that women are the rulers of men."
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Revised December 16, 2024.