The Old Woman and Her Pig

This is the best known of all Gaelic tales. It is the infant ladder to learning a chain of cause and effect, and fully as sensible as any of its kind. It used to be commonly taught to children of five or six years of age, and repeated by school boys, and it is still remembered by grown-up people in all parts of the highlands. There are few variations. In one version the crow was a little bird ; in another a gull was introduced, which advised the use of sand to stuff the riddle.

The tale has sixteen steps, four of which contain double ideas. The English "House that Jack Built" has eleven. The Scotch "Old Woman with the Silver Penny" has twelve. The Norsk "Cock and Hen A-nutting" twelve, ten of which are double. The German story in Grimm has five or six, all single ideas. All these are different. In Uist the actors are Biorachan mor agus Biorchan Beag; in Sutherland, Morachan agus Mionachan.

The speech of the Hoodie is always a very close imitation of his note. In another version she says, "Cuir criadh righin ruadh Ris-Put tough red clay to it;" and the gull said, " Cuir Poll Bog ris (Put soft mud to it)," which is rather the speech of some other bird. There are several rare words in this ; for example, gadhar, a dog.

The Wife and Her Bush of Berries

Scotland

Lang syne, when geese were swine,
And turkeys chewed tobacco,
And birds biggit their nests in auld mens's beards,
And mowdies del't potawtoes --

"'Deed no," says the kid, "I'll no keep your house till ye pu' your bonny buss o' berries."

Then the wife gaed to the dog, and said, "Dog, dog, bite kid. Kid winna keep my house till I pu' my bonny buss o' berries."

"'Deed," says the dog, "I'll no bite the kid, for the kid never did me ony ill."

Then the wife gaed to a staff and said, "Staff, staff, strike dog; for dog winna bite kid, and kid winna keep my house," etc.

"'Deed," says the staff, "I winna strike the dog, for the dog never did me ony ill."

Then the wife gaed to the fire, and said, "Fire, fire, burn staff. Staff winna strike dog; dog winna bite kid," etc.

"'Deed," says the fire, "I winna burn the staff, for the staff never did me ony ill."

Wife: "Water, water, slocken fire. Fire winna," etc.

"'Deed," says the water, "I winna slocken fire, for fire never did me ony ill."

Wife: "Ox, ox, drink water. Water winna slocken fire," etc.

"'Deed, says the ox, "I winna drink water, for water never did me ony ill."

Wife: "Ax, ax, fell ox. Ox winna drink water," etc.

"'Deed , says the ax, "I winna fell ox, for ox never did me ony ill."

Wife: "Smith, smith, smooth ax. Ax winna," etc.

"'Deed," says the smith, "I winna smooth ax, for ax never did me ony ill."

Wife: "Rope, rope, hang smith. Smith winna smooth ax," etc.

"'Deed," says the rope, "I winna hang smith, for smith never did me ony ill."

Wife: "Mouse, mouse, cut rope. Rope winna hang smith," etc.

"'Deed," says the mouse, "I winna cut rope, for rope never did me ony ill."

Wife: "Cat, cat, kill mouse. Mouse winna cut rope; rope winna hang smith; smith winna smooth ax; ax winna fell ox; ox winna drink water; water winna slocken fire; fire winna burn staff; staff winna strike dog; dog winna bite kid; kid winna keep my house till I pu' my bonny buss o' berries."

"'Deed, says the cat, "I winna kill the mouse, for the mouse never did me ony ill."

Wife: "Do't, and I'll gie ye milk and bread."

Wi' that the cat to the mouse, and the mouse to the rope, and the rope to the smith, and the smith to the ax, and the ax to the ox, and the ox to the water, and the water to the fire, and the fire to the staff, and the staff to the dog, and the dog to the kid, and the kid keepit the wife's house, till she pu'd her bonny buss o' berries.

• Source: Robert Chambers, Popular Rhymes of Scotland, new edition (London and Edinburgh: W. and R. Chambers, 1870), pp. 57-59. Preface dated November 24, 1841.

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The Wifie an Her Kidie

Scotland

"Niver a lenth," said the kid, "will I rin hame, leuk the hoose, an come again; ye can dee't yersel."

An the wifie said to the dog, "Dog, dog, bite kid; kid winna rin hame, leuk the hoose, an come again till I gedder a puckle sticks to my fair firie."

"Niver a lenth," said the dog, "will I bite the kid; the kid niver did me ony ill."

"Stick, stick, ding dog. Dog winna bite kid, kid winna rin hame," etc.

"Niver a lenth," said the stick, "will I ding dog; dog niver did me ony ill."

"Fire, fire, burn stick; stick winna ding dog, dog winna bite kid, kid winna rin," etc.

"Niver a lenth," said the fire, "will I burn the stick; the stick niver did me ony ill."

"Watter, watter, quench fire; fire winna burn stick, stick winna ding dog," etc.

"Niver a lenth," said the watter, "will I quench fire; fire niver did me ony ill."

"Ox, ox, drink watter; watter winna quench fire; fire winna burn stick," etc.

"Niver a lenth," said the ox, "the watter niver did me ony ill."

"Aix, aix, kill ox; ox winna drink watter; watter winna quench fire; fire," etc.

"Niver a lenth," said the aix, "the ox niver did me ony ill."

"Smith, smith, smee aix; aix winna kill ox; ox," etc.

"Niver a lenth," said the smith, "the aix niver did me ony ill."

"Rope, rope, hang smith; smith winna smee aix; aix winna," etc.

"Niver a lenth," said the rope, "the smith niver did me ony ill."

"Moosie, moosie, gnaw rope; rope winna hang smith; smith," etc.

Noo, a' this time the cattie wiz sittin i' the ingle-neuk singin a sang till hersel. So the wifie said, "Bonnie cattie, gin ye wud tak moosie, I wud gie you some fine milk an breed t' yersel."

So the cattie t' the moosie, an the moosie t' the rope, an the rope t' the smith, an the smith t' the aix, an the aix t' the ox, and the ox t' the watter, an the watter t' the fire, an the fire t' the stick, an the stick t' the dog, an the dog t' the kid, an the kid ran hame, leukit the hoose, an cam again till the wifie gedderit a puckle sticks till her fair firie.

Another version of the ending is: An the kiddie ran ower the brig o' the waulk-mill an broke her neck.

• Source: Walter Gregor, "A Folk-Tale from Aberdeenshire," The Folk-Lore Journal, vol. 2, no. 9 (September 1884), pp. 277-78.

• Gregor's source: Mr. James Moir, M.A., rector of the grammar school, Aberdeen.

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Nanny Who Wouldn't Go Home to Supper

Norway

"My dear Nanny, you must not stay any longer up there; you must come home now, it is just supper time. I am so hungry and want my supper."

"No, I shan't," said Nanny, "not before I have finished the grass on this tussock, and that tussock and this and that tussock."

"Then I'll go and tell mother," said the lad.

"That you may, and then I shall be left to eat in peace," said Nanny.

So Espen went and told his mother.

"Go to the fox and ask him to bite Nanny," said his mother.

The lad went to the fox. "My dear fox, bite Nanny, for Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry, and I want my supper," said Espen.

"No, I don't want to spoil my snout on pig's bristles and goat's beard," said the fox.

So the lad went and told his mother.

"Well, go to the wolf," said his mother.

The lad went to the wolf: "My dear wolf, tear the fox, for the fox won't bite Nanny, and Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry, and I want my supper."

"No," said the wolf, "I won't wear out my paws and teeth on a skinny fox."

So the lad went and told his mother.

"Well, go to the bear and ask him to slay the wolf," said the mother.

The lad went to the bear. "My dear bear, slay the wolf, for the wolf won't tear the fox, and the fox won't bite Nanny, and Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry and want my supper."

"No, that I won't," said the bear; "I don't want to wear out my claws for that."

So the lad went and told his mother.

"Well, go to the Finn and ask him to shoot the bear."

The lad went to the Finn. "My dear Finn, shoot the bear, for the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Nanny, and Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry and want my supper."

"No, I will not," said the Finn; "I am not going to shoot away my bullets for that."

So the lad went and told his mother.

"Well go to the fir," said his mother, "and ask it to crush the Finn."

The lad went to the fir tree: "My dear fir, crush the Finn, for the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Nanny, and Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry and want my supper."

"No, I will not," said the fir, "I am not going to break my boughs for that."

So the lad went and told his mother.

"Well, go to the fire," said his mother, "and ask it to burn the fir."

The lad went to the fire: "My dear fire, burn the fir, for the fir won't crush the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Nanny, and Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry and want my supper."

"No, I will not," said the fire, "I am not going to burn myself out for that."

So the lad went and told his mother.

"Well, go to the water, and ask it to quench the fire," she said.

The lad went to the water. "My dear water, quench the fire, for the fire won't burn the fir, the fir won't crush the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Nanny, and Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry and want my supper."

"No, I will not," said the water, "I am not going to waste myself for that."

So the lad went and told his mother.

"Well, go to the ox," said she, "and ask him to drink up the water."

The lad went to the ox: "My dear ox, drink up the water, for the water won't quench the fire, the fire won't burn the fir, the fir won't crush the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Nanny, and Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry and want my supper."

"No, I will not," said the ox. "I'm not going to burst myself for that."

So the lad went and told his mother.

"Well, go to the yoke," said she, "and ask it to throttle the ox."

The lad went to the yoke. "My dear yoke, throttle the ox, for the ox won't drink the water, the water won't quench the fire, the fire won't burn the fir, the fir won't crush the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Nanny, and Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry and want my supper."

"No, I will not," said the yoke. "I'm not going to break myself in two for that."

So the lad went and told his mother.

"Well, go to the axe," said she, "and tell it to split the yoke."

The lad went to the axe. "My dear axe, split the yoke, for the yoke won't throttle the ox, the ox won't drink the water, the water won't quench the fire, the fire won't burn the fir, the fir won't crush the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Nanny, and Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry and want my supper."

"No, I will not," said the axe. "I am not going to blunt my edge for that."

So the lad went and told his mother.

"Well, go to the smith," said she, "and ask him to hammer the axe."

The lad went to the smith. "My dear smith! hammer the axe, for the axe won't split the yoke, the yoke won't throttle the ox, the ox won't drink the water, the water won't quench the fire, the fire won't burn the fir, the fir won't crush the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Nanny, and Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry and want my supper."

"No, I will not," said the smith. "I'll not burn my coals and wear out my sledge-hammers for that."

So the lad went and told his mother.

"Well, go to the rope," said she, "and ask it to hang the smith."

The lad went to the rope. "My dear rope, hang the smith, for the smith won't hammer the axe, the axe won't split the yoke, the yoke won't throttle the ox, the ox won't drink the water, the water won't quench the fire, the fire won't burn the fir, the fir won't crush the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Nanny, and Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry and want my supper."

"No, I will not," said the rope. "I'm not going to break in two for that."

So the lad went and told his mother.

"Well, go to the mouse," said she, "and ask her to gnaw the rope."

The lad went to the mouse. "My dear mouse, gnaw the rope, for the rope won't hang the smith, the smith won't hammer the axe, the axe won't split the yoke, the yoke won't throttle the ox, the ox won't drink the water, the water won't quench the fire, the fire won't burn the fir, the fir won't crush the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Nanny, and Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry and want my supper."

"No, I will not," said the mouse. "I'm not going to wear out my teeth for that."

So the lad went and told his mother.

"Well, go to the cat," said she, "and ask her to catch the mouse."

The lad went to the cat. "My dear cat, catch the mouse, for the mouse won't gnaw the rope, the rope won't hang the smith, the smith won't hammer the axe, the axe won't split the yoke, the yoke won't throttle the ox, the ox won't drink the water, the water won't quench the fire, the fire won't burn the fir, the fir won't crush the Finn, the Finn won't shoot the bear, the bear won't slay the wolf, the wolf won't tear the fox, the fox won't bite Nanny, and Nanny won't come home in time. I am so hungry and want my supper."

"Yes, but give me a drop of milk for my kittens, and then" said the cat.

Yes, that she should have. So the cat caught the mouse, and the mouse gnawed the rope, and the rope hanged the smith, and the smith hammered the axe, and the axe split the yoke, and the yoke throttled the ox, and the ox drank the water, and the water quenched the fire, and the fire burned the fir, and the fir crushed the Finn, and the Finn shot the bear, and the bear slew the wolf, and the wolf tore the fox, and the fox bit Nanny, and Nanny took to her heels, scampered home, and ran against the barn wall and broke one of her legs.

"M-a-h-a-h!" bleated the goat. There she lay, and if she isn't dead she is still limping about on three legs. But Espen said it served her right, because she would not come home in time for supper that day.

• Source: Peter Christen Asbjørnsen, Fairy Tales from the Far North, translated from the Norwegian by H. L. Brækstad (London: David Nutt, 1897), pp. 246-52.

• The text of this tale in Norwegian: Hårslå, som aldri ville hjem gå.

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Revised April 29, 2009.