Assignment:
Pick a social habit or custom--styles of eating, sitting, dressing, speaking, behaving, etc. Give plenty of examples and explain the social customs behind it.

Note:
This paper was written about six weeks after the September 11, 2001 tragedy.

A man is walking down the street and breaks both of his legs. My first instinct is to call for help and comfort the man while waiting for the ambulance. He's a perfect stranger to me, and I'll hold his head in my arms and tell him everything will be okay. I'll tell him to stick it out. It doesn't matter whether I really care about this man or not, I will act like I care because of the social faux pas of not caring.

This is a hypothetical example of how people show concern even when the concern isn't really there. Beyond the obligation of helping another human being, I would feel the need to pretend like this person's feelings at the time matter to me. I called the ambulance, because I don't want him to die, but I am acting any other attachment to this man. It is a social custom in this country to be emotionally impacted by tragic events, whether or not one has an emotional attachment to those involved in the tragedy.

It pains me to admit how little I thought about the Septemper 11 tragedy. When I first heard the news, I was shocked, so I attributed my nonchalant responses to disbelief. In conversations about the news, I spoke casually and objectively, because that's how I felt. It was easier to write this off as disbelief than to admit that because I didn't know anyone involved in the event, it didn't bother me. If someone accused me of not being upset, I said, "I just can't believe it really happened." I participated in the candlelit vigil, wondering the whole time if everyone else felt the same way as I did. I knew this was a necessary duty, but I wasn't really in mourning. It was too far away for me to be concerned. I knew that the tragedy was real, that there was proof of its existence, but it didn't bother me. It was like a statistic in a history book: "On September 11, 2001, terrorists stole planes and crashed them into buildings." Even though it was happening in the present, I could not feel its impact. I didn't want anyone to know that I didn't feel its impact because I would be labeled a cold and uncaring person, a label that would turn other people against me.

When I know someone well, I can't help but feel a bond with them that directly connects my feelings to theirs. It takes a while though, and before this bond is complete, I have to fake my way through it. I never developed this bond with my neighbors, the Askins, on Wedgwood street. They were nice people, but I never took the time to get to know them and didn't feel like I connected with them. When my mom told me that Mrs. Askin had breast cancer, I didn't know what to say. It ended up something along the lines of "Oh, that's too bad." My mom nearly slapped me in the face. It's difficult for me to fake sincerity. My response came across to my mom as sarcasm, which wasn't how I intended it at all. She then demanded that I go over to the Askins' house with a gift basket and card, and I didn't agree with the idea. As much as I wanted to be emotionally affected by the event, I didn't feel anything more than a basic level of pity. I had seen the Askins walking their dog down the street and waved, but I never held a conversation with either of them beyond "Hi, how are you?" It didn't seem right to suddenly throw myself into their life. Even then I recognized the fact that I'd merely be participating in a social custom. I did end up delivering the gift basket, and the hammed up card my mother wrote, but I never did feel right about it.