Once upon a time a mouse, a bird, and a sausage formed a partnership. They kept house together, and for a long time they lived in peace and prosperity, acquiring many possessions. The bird's task was to fly into the forest every day to fetch wood. The mouse carried water, made the fire, and set the table. The sausage did the cooking.
Whoever is too well off always wants to try something different! Thus one day the bird chanced to meet another bird, who boasted to him of his own situation. This bird criticized him for working so hard while the other two enjoyed themselves at home. For after the mouse had made the fire and carried the water, she could sit in the parlor and rest until it was time for her to set the table. The sausage had only to stay by the pot watching the food cook. When mealtime approached, she would slither through the porridge or the vegetables, and thus everything was greased and salted and ready to eat. The bird would bring his load of wood home. They would eat their meal, and then sleep soundly until the next morning. It was a great life.
The next day, because of his friend's advice, the bird refused to go to the forest, saying that he had been their servant long enough. He was no longer going to be a fool for them. Everyone should try a different task for a change. The mouse and the sausage argued against this, but the bird was the master, and he insisted that they give it a try. The sausage was to fetch wood, the mouse became the cook, and the bird was to carry water.
And what was the result? The sausage trudged off toward the forest; the bird made the fire; and the mouse put on the pot and waited for the sausage to return with wood for the next day. However, the sausage stayed out so long that the other two feared that something bad had happened. The bird flew off to see if he could find her. A short distance away he came upon a dog that had seized the sausage as free booty and was making off with her. The bird complained bitterly to the dog about this brazen abduction, but he claimed that he had discovered forged letters on the sausage, and that she would thus have to forfeit her life to him.
Filled with sorrow, the bird carried the wood home himself and told the mouse what he had seen and heard. They were very sad, but were determined to stay together and make the best of it. The bird set the table while the mouse prepared the food. She jumped into the pot, as the sausage had always done, in order to slither and weave in and about the vegetables and grease them, but before she reached the middle, her hair and skin were scalded off, and she perished.
When the bird wanted to eat, no cook was there. Beside himself, he threw the wood this way and that, called out, looked everywhere, but no cook was to be found. Because of his carelessness, the scattered wood caught fire, and the entire house was soon aflame. The bird rushed to fetch water, but the bucket fell into the well, carrying him with it, and he drowned.
The next Sunday it was the little mouse's turn to go to church. She put on her fur coat and said: "Adieu, dear little sausage, just cook the cabbage very nicely!"
Now the little little mouse did not go to church at all, but instead hid behind the door. Then, when the cabbage was at a full boil, he saw how the little sausage jumped into the pot and allowed a little fat to boil off.
"Aha," thought the little mouse. "That's why her cabbage always tastes so good. I'll do the same thing."
When the little sausage went to church the following Sunday, she tenderly said goodbye to the little mouse: "Adieu, dear little mouse, just cook the cabbage very nicely!"
The little mouse closely watched the pot, and when the cabbage began to boil, he nimbly jumped in. But alas, he scalded himself to death.
The little sausage came home from church and was surprised that she could not find the little mouse. Finally, being hungry, she sat down at the table and scooped up the cabbage. Her dead little mouse fell onto her plate.
The little sausage cried bitterly. She immediately decided to organize a grand funeral for the little mouse. Four large rats were harnessed to the hearse. In deep mourning the little sausage walked behind the carriage, followed by innumerable mice. The rooster led the procession as the preacher, always crowing so loudly so that he could be heard far and wide. And thus they buried the little mouse.
The mouse thought: "Good, I will try the same thing."
The next Sunday, when the sausage and the pea had gone to church, the mouse was to cook the cabbage. When the pot started to boil he jumped into it and drowned.
When the sausage came home and was about to eat her dinner, the mouse was gone. The sausage thought that the mouse had gone out, so she started to scoop up the cabbage. She found the mouse, and when she saw that he was dead, the sausage went out and sat down in the doorway and cried.
A dog came running by, and when he saw the sausage crying, he asked what was the matter.
The sausage replied: "I have enough reason to be crying. The mouse is in the pot and has drowned."
The dog said: "Then I will give myself to howling."
The dog came to a fence, and the fence asked him why he was howling like that.
The dog answered: "The mouse has drowned in the cabbage pot, and the sausage is sitting in the doorway and crying. Why shouldn't I howl?"
Then the fence said: "Then I will fall over." And it fell over onto a tree that was standing there.
The tree asked why the fence had fallen over on it.
The fence answered: "The mouse has drowned in the cabbage pot, the sausage is sitting in the doorway crying, and the dog is howling. Why should I not fall over?"
Then the tree said: "Then I will let all my leaves fall off," and the leaves fell into a well.
The well asked the tree why it had let all its leaves fall off.
The tree answered: "The mouse has drowned in the cabbage pot, the sausage is sitting in the door crying, the dog is howling, and the fence has fallen over on me. Why should I not let my leaves fall off?"
Then the well said: "Then I will go dry."
Then the girl came out to get water. She saw that the well was dry, and asked why that was so.
The well answered: "The mouse has drowned in the cabbage pot, the sausage is sitting in the doorway crying, the dog is howling, the fence has fallen over, and the tree has let all of its leaves fall. Why should I not be dry?"
Then the girl said: "Then I will smash my buckets."
She did so, and then the man came and asked why she had broken her buckets to pieces.
The girl answered: "The mouse has drowned in the cabbage pot, the sausage is sitting in the doorway crying, the dog is howing, the fence has fallen over, the tree has let all of its leaves fall down, and the well has gone dry. Why should I not break my buckets to pieces?"
Then the man said: "Then I will beat my boy."
He did so, and the boy asked: "Why should I be beaten like this?"
The man answered: "The mouse has drowned in the cabbage pot, the sausage is sitting in the doorway crying, the dog is howling, the fence has fallen over, the tree has dropped all of its leaves, the well has gone dry, and the girl has broken her buckets. Why should I not beat you?
Then the boy said: "Then I will to run to the ends of the world," and with that he ran away.
Once upon a time there was a man who was so bad tempered and cross that he never thought his wife did anything right in the house. One evening, in hay-making time, he came home, scolding and swearing, and showing his teeth and making a commotion.
"Dear love, don't be so angry; that's a good man," said his wife; "tomorrow let's change jobs. I'll go out with the mowers and mow, and you can mind the house at home."
Yes, the husband thought that would do very well. He was quite willing, he said.
So early the next morning, his wife took a scythe over her neck, and went out into the hay field with the mowers and began to mow; but the man was to mind the house, and do the work at home.
First of all he wanted to churn the butter; but when he had churned awhile, he got thirsty, and went down to the cellar to tap a barrel of ale. He had just knocked in the bung, and was putting in the tap, when he heard the pig come into the kitchen above. As as fast as he could, he ran up the cellar steps, with the tap in his hand, to keep the pig from upsetting the churn; but when he got there, he saw that the pig had already knocked the churn over, and was standing there, routing and grunting in the cream which was running all over the floor. He got so angry that he quite forgot the ale barrel, and ran at the pig as hard as he could. He caught it, too, just as it ran out of doors, and gave it such a powerful kick that he killed it on the spot. Then he remembered he had the tap in his hand; but when he got down to the cellar, all the ale had run out of the barrel.
Then he went into the milk shed and found enough cream left to fill the churn again, and so he began to churn, for they had to have butter at dinner. When he had churned a bit, he remembered that their milk cow was still shut up in the barn, and hadn't had a bit to eat or a drop to drink all morning, although the sun was high. It occurred to him that it was too far to take her down to the meadow, so he'd just get her up on the roof, for it was a sod roof, and a fine crop of grass was growing there. The house was close against a steep hill, and he thought if he laid a plank across to the back of the roof he'd easily get the cow up.
But he couldn't leave the churn, for his little baby was crawling about on the floor. "If I leave it," he thought, "the child will tip it over." So he took the churn on his back, and went out with it; but then he thought he'd better first water the cow before he put her on the roof; so he picked up a bucket to draw water out of the well; but, as he stooped over the edge of the well, all the cream ran out of the churn over his shoulder, and down into the well.
Now it was near dinner time, and he hadn't even got the butter yet; so he thought he'd best boil the porridge, and filled the pot with water, and hung it over the fire. When he had done that, it occurred to him that the cow might fall off the roof and break her legs or her neck. So he climbed up on the house to tie her up. He tied one end of the rope to the cow's neck. He slipped the other end down the chimney and tied it around his own leg. Then he had to hurry, for the water was now boiling in the pot, and he had still to grind the oatmeal.
He began to grind away; but while he was hard at it, the cow fell off the roof, dragging the man up the chimney by the rope. There he stuck fast; and as for the cow, she hung halfway down the wall, swinging between heaven and earth, for she could neither get down nor up.
Now the wife waited seven lengths and seven breadths for her husband to come and call her home to dinner; but he never came. At last she thought she'd waited long enough, and went home. But when she got home and saw the cow hanging there, she ran up and cut the rope with her scythe. When she did this, her husband fell down from within the chimney. When the old woman came inside, she found him with his head in the porridge pot.
She went to the field, and he began to churn.
When he had churned a little he became thirsty and went down into the cellar to get something to drink. He had just taken the tap from the beer barrel when he heard a horrid noise upstairs in the kitchen. He ran up to see what it was; but in his fright he forgot to put the tap back into the barrel. All the beer ran out onto the floor.
In the kitchen he saw that the sow had gotten in there and had tipped the churn over, so that all the cream had spilled out onto the floor. He now had to go and skim off some more cream and begin to churn once again.
He then thought that it was time to cook some poridge for dinner. He did not dare to leave the churn standing in the kitchen while he fetched water for the porridge, so he tied the churn firmly behind his back and went out for water. When he bent over to pull the bucket out of the the well, all of the cream ran out of the churn and over his head into the well. Now he had no more cream.
He went back to the kitchen and had just put the porridge over the fire when he remembered that he had not yet taken the cow out. He ran and got her out of the stable, but he did not know where he should take her. He noticed that there was some grass growing on top of the house, so he pulled the cow up there. Then it occurred to him that the cow might fall off the roof, so he threw the rope down the chimney, then ran into the kitchen, and tied the rope around his leg. Thus he would know if the cow fell. He had just begun to stir the porridge when the cow fell off the roof and pulled him up the chimney.
The man was hanging a little way up in the chimney and the cow a little way up from the ground, when the wife came home from the field for her dinner. She saw the cow hanging there, then ran over and cut the rope, for she did not know that her husband was hanging from the other end. The rope gave way, and the man fell on his head into the pot, killing him.
She was terribly saddened by that, and since that day they never traded again.
One day after breakfast the man said to the woman: "You have it very easy with your little bit of cooking, while I have to work myself to the bone in the field."
"Do you want to trade?" asked the woman. "If so, I'll go out to the field and you can stay and home and cook."
"I'd be happy with that," said the man.
So they traded roles: The woman took the hoe over her shoulder and went out to the field while the man, wooden spoon in hand, stayed at home. His first question was, what should he cook? Then it occurred to him that whoever has the cross should bless himself with it: "I'll cook my favorite dish, rice porridge."
He brought in kindling and wood and made a fire, and then he heard the cow bellowing.
"Just bellow away," said the man. "First I have to fetch water or else the fire will burn away for nothing at all."
He took the bucket and went to the well to fetch water, which he poured into the pot and set on onto the fire. Then the cow bellowed again.
"Just bellow away," he said. "It's not your turn yet. First I must put the rice into the pot so it will soften.
He ran and fetched the rice, shook it into the pot and stirred it with the spoon. Then the cow bellowed a third time.
"Yes," said the man, "now it's your turn."
He went to the stall only to discover that there was no fodder there for her.
"Curses!" he thought. "If have to get fodder for her now the water will get hot, and the rice will boil over and spoil my favorite dish."
So he led the cow to the hill behind the cottage, and then onto his thatched roof that was covered with moss, saying: "You can graze here."
Back in the kitchen he poured off the boiling water and poured fresh water onto the rice.
Then he thought: "If the cow falls off the roof she could break her neck and a leg. That would not do."
So he ran out onto the roof and tied a rope around the cow's neck and dropped the rope's other end down the chimney into the kitchen. Back in the kitchen he tied the rope onto his leg, thinking: "Now I can tend to the rice porridge in peace."
Soon he poured the boiling water off the rice, replaced it with milk, then put it back onto the fire, stirring it vigorously with the wooden spoon so that it would not burn.
Meanwhile the cow was grazing on the roof's narrow peak, carefully setting one foot in front of another like a tight-rope walker, until she came to the edge of the house. She stretched he neck to one side to reach a few green bites, then lost her balance and fell. The short rope left her hanging there above the ground. She was heavy enough to pull up the man tied to the other end of the rope. And there he hung in the chimney, between heaven and earth just above the rice porridge.
When the woman returned home she saw the cow hanging there, its tongue sticking out of its throat. Fortunately she had her cheese knife in her pocket. She opened it, and holding the rope with her right hand she cut it in two with her left hand, then gently lowered the cow to the ground.
She ran into the kitchen to scold the man. She found him stuck upside down with his head the porridge pot. The woman had to get him back onto his feet. But she couldn't scold him yet, for his eyes and ears were full of porridge.
So she washed his head and was about to begin her scolding sermon, when he said: "Be quiet. You've already washed my head. In the future you'll stay at home and I'll work in the field."
It is not right to undo nature's order.
There was an old man, who lived in a wood,
As you may plainly see;
He said he could do as much work in a day,
As his wife could do in three.
With all my heart, the old woman said,
If that you will allow,
Tomorrow you'll stay at home in my stead,
And I'll go drive the plough.
But you must milk the Tidy cow,
For fear that she go dry;
And you must feed the little pigs
That are within the sty;
And you must mind the speckled hen,
For fear she lay away;
And you must reel the spool of yarn
That I spun yesterday.
The old woman took a staff in her hand,
And went to drive the plough;
The old man took a pail in his hand,
And went to milk the cow:
But Tidy hinched, and Tidy flinched,
And Tidy broke his nose,
And Tidy gave him such a blow,
That the blood ran down to his toes!
High! Tidy! Ho! Tidy! High!
Tidy! do stand still,
If ever I milk you, Tidy, again,
'Twill be sore against my will!
He went to feed the little pigs,
That were within the sty;
He hit his head against the beam,
And he made the blood to fly.
He went to mind the speckled hen,
For fear she'd lay astray;
And he forgot the spool of yarn
His wife spun yesterday.
So he swore by the sun, the moon, and the stars,
And the green leaves on the tree,
If his wife didn't do a day's work in her life,
She should ne'er be rul'd by he.
There was an old man who lived in a wood,
As you may plainly see,
He said he could work more in a day,
Than his wife could do in three.
"If that be the case," the old woman said,
"If that be the case," said she,
"The you shall stay at home today,
And I'll go and drive the plow.
But mind you, milk the cherry cow,
For fear that she'd go dry,
And mind you, tend the suckling pigs
That lie in yonder sty.
And mind you, watch the speckled hen,
For fear that she would stray,
And mind you, wind the worsted yarn,
That I spun yesterday."
The old woman took the whip in hand,
And went to drive the plow;
The old man took the milking pail,
And went to milk the cow.
But Cherry, she kicked, and Cherry, she flung,
And Cherry, she wouldn't be quiet,
She gave the old man a kick in the leg,
Which made him kick up a riot.
He went to watch the speckled hen,
For fear that she should stray,
But he forgot to wind the yarn
His wife spun yesterday.
Then he swore by the sun, the moon, and the stars,
And all that was in heaven,
That his wife could do more work in a day,
Than he could do in seven.
One day when his wife was tired listening to him she told him she would exchange with him. He agreed and stayed inside. The work he had to do was, to churn the cream, bring water from the well, boil a pot of soup, let out the cow in the field and a mind the baby.
When he had made the butter he thought of the fine half barrel of ale that was in the parlour and he went down for a cup full. When he had taken the cork from the barrel he heard a great noise in the kitchen and he rushed up to see what was wrong and took the cup and cork in his hand.
When he went into the kitchen the hens had upset the dish of butter and he did his best to gather it up as clean as he could. Then he returned to the parlour and found the ale all over the floor and the carpets were all destroyed. So he was getting tired of house-keeping.
Then he went to the well and fearing the baby would fall into the churn of butter-milk, he tied the churn on his back and went off. On stooping down at the well, the butter-milk spilled on his head, and he was at the loss of all the milk. When he came home with the water he put the pot of soup on the fire.
Then he thought he had everything done, but late in the evening he thought about the cow. He thought it was too late to take her to the field, so he thought of a plan. He knew there was grass growing on the roof of the house, so he put a plank from a hill that was beside the house on to the roof of the house.
He drove the cow up the hill and he put a rope around her neck. Then he drove her across the plank on to the house. He then tied the other end of the rope to the chimney but soon the cow slipped down. Then he went up on the house and put the rope around his own body and he began to pull back the cow, but he over balanced and fell down the chimney. He was on one end of the rope and the cow balancing him on the other.
When his wife came in and saw the cow she ran to get something to cut the rope. She released the cow, but when she cut the rope the man fell down the chimney into the pot of soup. When his wife came in the second time she could see nothing but his two legs.
When she saw all the harm he had done she was disgusted. She asked him which was house work or farm work the harder, and he said that he would never house-keep again, not even if he were paid.
So she stayed inside ever since, and that finished the man with house-keeping.