The Rice Report

Yellow Journalism at its best!

Monday, November 22nd, MMX

Wow! Sure has been a week for crazies, hasn't it? Just like most weeks for our Kenyan-led, undocumented government. To begin, the lame duck (must mean he's a D-rat) governor of Iowa, Chet Culver, gave the tax-payers thereof a going away present--200 mil in increased state spending, to pay for raises for those indispensible state employees. Governor Culver had this to say about the rationale for his Iowa love-offering:

"These people are on the frontlines of delivering vital services and information..."

I had to think for a minute about that one. You see, I can't think of a single service that vital, that I would need a government employee to deliver it. In fact other than the mailman, I can't think of any service that I need from any government employee. Of course, there are all those "make-work" services they force on us. In other words, laws we have to obey to stay out of jail, that are thought up by state emplyees that force us to make use of other state employees or else we get handcuffed or shot by yet another state employee. But, something tells me all that shouldn't count since it's artificially created vitalness, like when the state bans brand X so that now it's vital that you have brand Y to survive, like the case of incadescent light bulbs ... or the mailman for that matter.

Treasury Secretary pencil-neck Timothy Geithner has warned the incoming Republicans not to "politicize" the Federal Reserve ... or what? They'll get a spanking? You see, the Fed has that all important mandate to pursue full employment, so you're all going to be employed whether you like it or not. And, gee, wasn't that a mandate handed them by a ... political body? Like, uh, ... Congress? And then he wants to keep politics out of monetary ... policy. "Policy"? Isn't that a tad like keeping politics out of ... monetary politics? Which is a tad like being, ... wildly incoherent? Which is a tad like being a ... pencil-necked pea-brain?

That friend of the common man, Warren Bufett, thinks we don't pay enough taxes. Isn't that sweet? Volunteering your money to pay more taxes? I shoud be fair (although I don't know why). When questioned on this issue in an embarrassing way by his interviewer with a "what the F----?" look, he back tracked a bit and limited his self-imposed tax increase to people like himself--at the upper end of the economic spectrum. He even gave something of an argument for his position, quite amazing for a police state liberal. It goes like this: "We at the upper end of the economic spectrum have it a lot better than ever. Therefore we should pay more taxes." I suppose one shouldn't have it a lot better than ever, so it's the government's job to cut down on all that well-being. I'm glad to hear a lover of the police state admit it. But, it's not the first time. About twelve years ago, another police state leftist, Walter Crank-kite, in an interview for AARP said the same thing, but wasn't quite as charitable as Buffett, probably because there was no one there to say, "What the F----?" He extended his enforced beneficence to everybody. I've got a better idea. Since they like paying taxes so much, I'll let them have all the fun of paying mine. At least they've agreed that the primary job of government is spreading misery. We jus' got too much well-being goin' on.

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The views expressed here are my own--it's a good bet they don't reflect those of the University.